2022 in Three Words & Surprising Lessons

also, please write back, I want to hear from you too!

Dear friends,

I’m wishing you SO well, whether you celebrate the mainstream new year or not. In the year-end chaos, many will not have time yet to reflect, so here is a simple question for you.

What are three words or phrases to sum up 2022 for you?

Please write back, I'd love to read 🤗 You can also comment on the chat with the Substack app (see details below).

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For me, oh boy. What a year. Here are the three keywords.

CHANGE: specifically, expansion

Outside looking in, 2022 is a lot of changes and expansion. Two new continents, new life as a PhD student, new circles of friends, and even trying out a new identity & name (hola, Kasper 👻) It’s screaming NEW NEW NEW.

Even new eyes. I did Lasik this year! See a poem about that here.

Inside, you may be surprised to know that I don't see myself as a big traveler or nomad. It takes a huge toll on my nervous system. When I first landed in London and Mexico City (and anywhere else), my first reaction is not "Oh what's fun to see?" but "How can I settle in first?". Amidst all the relocation from different houses in Vietnam to London to Mexico, I YEARN for a sense of home, warmth (it has been so cold where I go…), human connection and physical touch.

Surprising Lesson: Know in advance the overall theme of the year.

What I am grateful for is to know in advance that this year will be such (thank you, numerology! For the geek, this year is number 5, a year of change). That way, you can be prepared with the right expectation, and then take advantage of such knowledge. If you don’t want to learn the basics of numerology. I use a very handy software here.

REJECTION

Ahhh. It's not all sunny (although it's mostly so 🌞). This year, I made some bold proposals about love life, partnerships, work, and money.

Notably, I expressed my deepest longing for a true companion to some beautiful souls and humans. Also a few romantic advances. I also gave myself to a Ph.D. application to Stanford Grad school of Education.

There were places I really wanted to be at, people I really wanted to be more of in my life, and things I really wanted to do. None happened the way I wanted.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and everything turned out to be fine (actually way more than fine). I am very happy where I am at. But the highest goal isn't to be happy; the highest goal is to live a life so that I can die at the end of every day knowing that I've fully lived. (high bar, I know. Worth striving for). AND The pain of rejection was real. It felt like being punched in the gut.

It looks worse than this sometimes…

Surprising Lesson: You can imagine enjoying the pain.

I spent a fair bit of time simply sitting and feeling the sensation of being rejected. It's uncomfortably gut-quenching at first, and with loving attention, it did get less scary and even pleasurable. I love the intensity of entering deeper into the world with my intention, and the world pushing me back. Being punched eventually can feel really refreshing!

I've been repeating to myself throughout the year this sentence, "I am rejected, and I love it". It's really helping. I suggest you try the same too.

The many twists and turns of the year also bring me to the 3rd keyword.

AFFIRMATION

Sometimes it's worth trying on. Sometimes it's not. Knowing when to do what is wisdom.

2022 taught me a beautiful lesson: rejection, fully somatically felt, is a redirection. Towards greater alignment with the world, to be in the right relationship with what is.

For me, rejection is no longer a chance to preserve or prove to anyone, especially myself that I care. Rather, it is an invitation to embrace those twists and turns with more grace. And to clarify what really matters: is this a specific outcome or the experience of fully giving myself to someone or something?

The beauty of learning is that at every step along the way, I found more and more affirmation.

Einstein once said "The most important question a person can ask is whether the universe is a friendly place."

2022, I know even more deeply in my bones my answer. I am cared for and valued. I am contributing to the surrounding. I received so much love and support from the world, friends, and many strangers.

This brings me to the last words of the year.

THANK YOU!

Thank you so much for being with me on the journey. It means a lot to have people to share my life with. Please do write back, even if it's just 3 words. I'd love to know your year!

Here is a haiku poem for you 🌞

Technical details: how to join the Substack chat

This is a conversation space in the Substack app that I set up exclusively for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.

To join our chat, you’ll need to download the Substack app, now available for both iOS and Android. Chats are sent via the app, not email, so turn on push notifications so you don’t miss conversation as it happens.

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How to get started

1. Download the app by clicking this link or the button below. Substack Chat is now available on both iOS and Android.

2. Open the app and tap the Chat icon. It looks like two bubbles in the bottom bar, and you’ll see a row for my chat inside.

3. That’s it! Jump into my thread to say hi, and if you have any issues, check out Substack’s FAQ.

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Best wishes and stay tuned for 2023. Likely not as dynamic as 2022 (numerology says 😛 I’ve gone pragmatically superstitious, haha). But it too will be full of pleasant surprises!