The Liberation of Not Being "Good Enough"
Feeling like shit? Doesn't matter.
I met a really cool lady recently who keeps saying she's not good enough.
And she feels constantly insecure, believing she can always be better.
I like her and think she works very hard and got really far in life given her circumstances.
In the past, I would have immediately thought this was a case of low self-esteem that needed boosting. I would have suggested affirmations, confidence-building exercises, or working on her "inner beliefs."
But I've come to realize something different, something liberating: You don't actually have to fix this feeling.
When that voice whispers "you're not good enough," you don't need to silence it or transform it into confidence. You simply need to acknowledge it as a thought pattern—one you don't have to believe or obey.
Think of it this way: The feeling of inadequacy is just a sensation passing through your awareness, like noticing it's raining outside. You observe the rain, but you don't become the rain. Similarly, you can observe the thought "I'm not good enough" without becoming defined by it.
The remarkable truth is that you can feel completely inadequate while still taking meaningful action. You can doubt yourself Monday through Sunday and still show up, still do the work, still move forward. The voice can chatter all it wants in the background while your hands and feet keep moving.
The Evidence Speaks Louder Than Your Doubts
What happens then is almost magical. Over time, the results of your actions begin to tell a different story than the one in your head. Evidence accumulates. Achievements stack up. Feedback comes in. And gradually, reality begins to contradict the narrative of inadequacy.
Most conventional wisdom tells us we need to fix our inner world before changing our outer world. "Work on your mindset first," they say. "Believe in yourself, and then act." But this approach often keeps us stuck in an endless cycle of trying to feel better before we do better.
It's like telling someone they need to feel like a swimmer before getting in the water. Spoiler alert: you become a swimmer by swimming, not by perfecting your swimmer's mindset while sitting on the beach. (Though I suppose that approach does keep you safely away from sharks, so there's that.)
Flipping the Script on Confidence
What if we've had it backward? What if action precedes feeling? What if we don't need to wait until we feel confident to begin creating evidence that contradicts our insecurities?
This insight struck me while teaching people improvisational dance. Most people approach it saying, "I don't want to do it" or "I don't know how to do it." But when I simply ask them to walk around, move, and jump up and down—they do it, regardless of what the voice in their head is saying.
Like this old improv scene my friend Nick & Michael Raspuzzi did 8 years ago - nobody knows what was happening and we were doing it anyway!
It's a powerful revelation to witness: the voice in your head is just a commentator on what your body is already doing. What you're thinking and what you're doing can be completely different things—and that's totally okay. There's something profoundly liberating about experiencing this disconnect firsthand and realizing the voice doesn't have to be in charge.
There's freedom in recognizing you don't have to wait until you feel ready. You don't need permission from your emotions. You can be terrified, doubtful, and completely unconvinced of your capabilities—and still take the next step.
Two Empowering Responses to Your Inner Critic
The next time you hear that voice saying you're not enough, try responding with:
"Thanks for sharing. I hear you. Now let's get on with it anyway."
Not dismissing the feeling, not fighting it, just acknowledging it and continuing forward.
Because ultimately, the most compelling argument against "I'm not good enough" isn't another thought—it's a life well-lived despite the doubt.
It's the accumulation of moments where you acted as if you were enough, until the evidence became too substantial to ignore.
Laugh at it. Keep telling yourself “I am insecure AF and I fucking love it”. To the outside world, your internal dialog doesn’t matter. What matters is you do what needs to be done.
The Proof Is in the Action
In my own case, I experienced this while going through a recent job application process. I needed to write application materials and send emails to different connections. There were definitely days where I didn't feel like doing anything—and sometimes, I didn't.
What I realized is that feeling like doing something or not doesn't really matter in the end. The harsh but liberating truth is that the outside world doesn't care about our feelings of inadequacy. Results are more affected by the actions we take, not so much by how confident we felt while taking them. (plus, other people may think that you are very confident because you take the action, so it doesn't really matter)
(When this hit me, I really really hate this principle. I hate the fact that the result lies from the outside, how I feel doesn’t influence the result as much as I think it does..)
There were moments when I'd stare at my computer screen, feeling completely unqualified and wondering why I was even bothering.
But instead of waiting to feel better, I'd just write one more paragraph. Send one more email. Have one more conversation. And slowly, opportunities materialized that my doubt insisted wouldn't come.
(^ the above is B.S self help hustle porn. I wrote that to make sure you are still following
The reality is that I also struggled a lot. like A TONS. Like I don't want to do these pointless job applications, and I didn't end up doing a lot of it. But that's okay; I still applied to a few different ones and eventually got into a good one)
You cannot control the outcome entirely, that's true.
But you can influence it dramatically through consistent action, regardless of how you feel while taking it. That's the view I'm embracing now—that my insecurities can ride along in the backseat, but they don't get to drive or choose the destination.
So the next time you feel like you're not good enough, remember: that feeling doesn't need to be fixed before you move forward. It just needs to be recognized for what it is—a feeling, not a fact. Then take action anyway, and let the results speak for themselves.
After all, the world is full of massively successful people who still struggle with imposter syndrome. The difference isn't that they feel better than you do—it's that they've learned to take meaningful action despite the feelings.
And honestly, isn't there something beautifully human about creating a magnificent life while still occasionally thinking, "I have no idea what I'm doing"?
I find that far more inspiring than the myth of unwavering confidence.
Do write back to me after you've taken some cool action (despite whatever the voice in my head says). Let me know.
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PS: I’m switching from Substack to Kit because Substack is getting a bit too social-media-y.
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