Thank you, 2023
A year of Radiant Devotion
Hello everyone,
I hope you are well and radiant as the year draws to a close.
As the tradition goes, here is a bit about my 2023. I imagine many of you would feel somewhat similar, so please do write back.
2023’s word was: Radiant Devotion.
It has been very much so.
I have become more radiant with my devotion.
To those close to me.
To the practice of listening to what is most needed now.
It's a year of so many surprising endings and new beginnings.
London, Vietnam, places, people. Old friends. New friends. Many rounds of letting go, letting be and letting come.
A year of so much healing and tears.
On one occasion, I've cried more than I ever cried before. To truly grieve the loss of my father when I was 3. To go deep into the subconscious, bodily memory of the young child.
Any many more moments of deep, deep healing.
A year of massive growth.
Growth from joy, much more from struggles.
I left the known PhD path, upsetting those very close to me.
worrying about money, and now creating more in a month than in the whole year of PhD, and still worrying :-)
A year of falling in love, again, of having my heart broken and my mind confused many times. And doing the same to others. And growing from that, becoming more rooted and comfortable in myself, to express what I want, and then being open to receiving no response, or rejection.
A year of leaning into myself even more, and to follow what truly lit me up from the inside, every hour, every minute. 100% alignment, not 90%, not even 95%.
What has 2023 taught me?
The Human Design system & Gene Keys really work.
I’ve sincerely been testing them both this year, and it is nothing less than a revolution. The process of unlearning all the patterns of “should” (“deconditioning” in HD) takes time, but it is darn effective.
My human design Strategy as a manifesting generator, is to imagine, wait for the signs, then act. To do a lot of things and create many things. And the more I create and do things that is aligned with me, the more energy I have. Most importantly, feel no shame in pivoting. I change my mind often, and that’s totally okay.
I really don't have to do anything that I don't want to do, like my supervisor Nettra always tells me. There are consequences, yes, but I am essentially free.
If I am not wholehearted and fully lit up, everyone else is worse off. Everybody deserves someone, something, somewhere better than my half-heartedness.
Devotion evokes devotion. I love people who are deeply devoted to what's important in their life and want to support them. My London housemate, Flick, was a great example. Being there and supporting her has been such a great joy for me.
The physical surrounding matters. How much I love to live in a beautiful place, with beautiful people. I deserve to live a good life, and so do everyone else. Once I learn this, I cannot settle for less.
There is always so, so much to let go. What used to be true last minute, let alone yesterday, last week, last month, may not be true today. Letting go is a continuous deepening practice, a way of being. The only commitment is to that practice.
Letting go is a very physical experience. You feel lighter and more attentive to the tension inside.
AND as our perception changes, what we pick up as input and sign from the world outside also changes. And because of that, our action changes.
Money and sexuality are the places to look into for big healing and growth. Giving up the stable income of the PhD route and returning to the entrepreneurial path surfaced the fear of not having enough, even though it is rationally not true.
Sexually, I am still a bit afraid of expressing my desires. I had a few sexual encounters this year, and I know the breakthrough is coming.
Not justify or rationalize what I want and what I don't want. The voice in the head is only the commentator, but the experience of true satisfaction comes from the body.
Just that I care deeply about people doesn’t mean I have to care about everyone. In fact, be even more selective. I am still looking to find and confirm the chosen family of 4-12 people who would be with me through thick and thin from now til the end. And the soulmate.
Slowing down is absolutely essential. I spent at least 15 hours/week loitering in the park or the river. It does wonder to calm my nervous system, which made me a lot more available to those I love as well as to life. Anytime I feel frustrated or rushed, it is a chance to practice trusting that life has its way.
Please share what resonates with you, and a few lessons you learned. Meanwhile, wishing you the last 2 days with a lot of time for affection and reflection.
I look forward to hearing from you in 2024.
Khuyen